I am blessed to be a father. I am also blessed to know that being a father is one of the greatest responsibilities that God has given to me on earth. The Lord has trusted us, fathers, to be responsible for guiding and nurturing the children that he has blessed us with. This is truly high calling.
We are living in a time whereby the fathers are not taking responsibility for their calling to be fathers. The fathers are running away from their responsibilities leaving the mothers to be strong and to try to father their children, Mothers are designed to mother and not to father. Although with good intentions, the mothers try to raise the young men to be good citizens but without the spirit of fatherhood inside them, the results usually fall shot.
The result is the fatherless generation that feels the need for a father but cannot express it. The need goes unsatisfied but it is there. Such children, if they are boys, tend to have a wrong idea of what being a real man is. They get the mentorship from the screens of today, both big and small. This results in a macho-men who see women as objects of their satisfaction. The same needs to be ‘respected’ they mistake authority for physical power. They do not know what to do with their masculinity and if you do not know the use of something, abuse is prominent.
The girl without a father is usually that girl with low self-esteem. The girl’s first relationship with males is supposed to be with her father. If she is deprived of a healthy relationship with her father or a father figure, the girl tends to have low confidence with herself. Academically, personally, professionally, physically, socially, and romantically, a woman’s self-esteem is diminished in every setting if she did not form a healthy relationship with her father.
Where are the Real Fathers?
My question is, where are the real men? Where are the fathers? Where are the fathers, that will not let their mistakes affect the life of another person (their child) by being absent?
They will visit, love, advise, provide financially and emotionally. They will nurture, play with and instil courage. They will show the boy, the correct manors, the respect towards women. We need the man who will show his boys how to love a lady by loving their mother. The man who shall never raise his voice or hand to their mother, he shall show them how to treat a woman by his example.
For the young girl to be balanced, she needs to know that women matters. In her home, she sees her father respecting her mother. He buys her gifts, flowers and honours her publicly. The young lady learns that she does not need to give out anything to be loved. She is loved because she is. She learns self-respect because her father respects her and her mother. He tells her, “Baby girl, you are ok as you are, you do not need anyone to love you before you can feel good for yourself. You are enough”
This is important
About 51% of black children do not have active fathers in their lives in South Africa. Studies show that most crimes are committed by fatherless children. They grow to be adults without self-esteem. Since they are not given self-esteem, they try to take it by violence. The streets are full of girls from fatherless families, the attention that they could not get from their families becomes adulterated into a repulsive and sometimes painfully pathetic behaviour.
A Call To Men
I call all the absent fathers, men of South Africa. It is high time that you man up and take responsibility for raising those precious young ones. You should do it because this is part of the solution to the crime problem of this land. It is also your God-given mandate. The ladies are trying but it is not easy for them. Let us change this behaviour of just impregnating and abandoning. Our seed is crying out for help. Our nation is crying out for help. Remember, this fatherless generation is actually the future of this country. What is our future going to be like?
As a final take, if you are a real man and you see that fatherless child, why don’t you take him to the fold? Try to instil some positive values by being available to them. Show them some love and acceptance and be a willing ear. Maybe you can make a difference.