Well, it is now 3 years since I passed the dreaded “Big Four O”. Now at 43, I am very thankful to God for He has taken me this far. I am so happy for the life that my Creator has given to me. I know very well that I will accomplish great things as I keep on aligning to my purpose on this earth.
Yes, I believe that every one of us human beings does have a perfect mandate from above. When you arrive on earth, you come equipped. You have a set of giftings and talents that you can use to do your part here on earth. You have to discover your calling and cultivate your gifts. That is the only way that you can fulfil your destiny.
Listed below are some of the “things” that I have learnt and have been implementing in my short life on this earth. I think that this may also help you.
I am so blessed to have a great family. My wife is the one thing that I know that I did not make a mistake when I choose her. I thank God for her support and for helping me raise the family. This one is a jewel, my friends. To the unmarried ladies out there, you should come for notes.
The married and struggling in marriage ones can also use some wisdom from her. It’s not like she has some superhuman powers. It is just the simplicity of purpose and love that freely flows that makes her my jewel. I have learnt a lot from knowing her.
I have learnt to honour and respect her. This is the only way that she will continue to reciprocate with love. If you are not giving love and attention to your wife, you have no business expecting to receive respect and care from her.
I am so filled with joy that even at this age I still feel so young. I am actually puzzled by what it means to have a midlife crisis. I somehow have not yet experienced it. What I have learnt of late is that a midlife crisis happens in the mind. When a person fails to accept their current reality, they start to fight with what is. Since what is never changes, the fighter becomes an exhausted self from trying to change the unchangeable.
Fighting what is comes from our tendency to fail to recognise who really we are. Let me explain. As human beings, we tend to identify ourselves through our minds. There is in almost everyone, a voice that speaks in our heads. That voice is part of your mind. Usually, when you are not aware, you will have a conversation within yourself, in the mind. That voice talks according to the experience that you will have gone through in life. Sometimes, the voice will talk from a fearful position and sometimes from a confident position. The problem is that we believe what the voice says.
So, next time you hear in your head, a voice say; “Who does he think he is?” or maybe; “Eish, I am not sure how this will go well.”, just remember that it is the voice speaking. That voice is not you. It is part of your mind or your psyche. It only talks according to its experience. So if the voice is always speaking of great and balanced things, it is most likely that you had a great upbringing. If the voice is afraid, however, its most likely that you may have fractured confidence, something that you picked up on this journey of life.
The big news is that you are not the voice. That voice is your mind and not you. If you believe the voice, you are just doing yourself a disservice. In fact, most of the things that it says are not even accurate. You are a spirit, a part of God that has existed in your body for all these years. You are the one that is listening to the voice speak. You have always been in there. When I learnt this fact and understood it, I was very elated. I am not my body. I am a spirit and I am eternal. I am not “killable”.
I don’t listen to the voice when it speaks midlife crisis language. I just look and ignore. I don’t believe it.
No more external pressure
I am therefore not pressured anymore by the fear that overtakes many people. I know for sure that God is on my side. I am not afraid to make some mistakes along the way. If I make them, they are just lessons to learn from.
I know that some of my agemates may have already started to worry about not yet achieving those great things that we “used” to dream of when we were young. I am not worried about that at all. I still dream as I used to do when I was still at school. The only difference that I have now is that the dreams are now contextualised in the wisdom that age tends to bless the “old”.
So, do not be afraid, do not be in a hurry. There is no “too old” except in human minds. God is ready to deal with you from your current position. If you think that you are too old, then you are. I tell you however that you are not too old. You are an eternal being and in the calendar of God, well, you are very young. The body is the one that has been changing all along.
You are however not your body. You are that spirit that was once in the body of a baby, then of a 10-year-old, then the teenager and now of your current body. We have to stop identifying with our bodies or our minds. We are greater than that. We are actually pieces of God. Each one is a slice of God that he sent to manifest His greatness down here on earth.
Fear is in the Mind
I have learnt that my mind has been my worst enemy on this earth. If it is not my mind, then its what my mind has been producing. Those days when I would be afraid to approach a prospect. That was my mind saying; “What is says no? What if they reject me?”. The question is, was I gonna die if they had rejected me? Oh yes, I was gonna die. What was going to die is that voice guy, that Ego. He could not stand to be rejected.
So, it was all in the mind. The mind cost me some money. When I discovered that I am not this “Ego guy” who is afraid, it opened up a great well of power. I am now confident. It’s not because I am now a better person than I was then. I am confident because I now do not listen to the lies of the ego. When the Ego says; “I am afraid”, I now just look at it as call up my all-powerful spirit man. This one does not know how to be afraid, he is a part of the Eternal God.
Changing my Belief System
I have also learnt that all of my current challenges were created by my belief system. If I want things to change in my life, I should approach life from another higher belief system. I believe that God is definitely for me. He will, however, deal with me from my level of understanding, that is my belief system. That is also what we Christians call Revelation.
If I choose to approach Him from a position of lack, well for His integrity, He will only allow a little to trickle. t is not that He does not want to give me, I have just limited His ability to give me by my approach.
I have learnt that I need to give more. I should give food to the hungry, clothe the naked and give advice to those who are open to it. I should love my neighbours and more so my family. For whatever that I need, I have learnt that the best way to receive it, is to release its equivalent to God and to His people. God is always ready for us, it is us who usually delay Him by taking our time to learn.
The Love of Physical Workout
For years I have been doing this exercise thing on and off. Usually, I am prompted by the belly. There is something about its protrusion that disturbs me. What I have learnt, is that I should have a better reason for my morning walks and runs. I was doing them because of fear, the fear of not looking good. But now, I have chosen to do it for love.
I exercise for the love of what you may ask. The love of the extra energy that I have access to when I do my walks. The love of the extra wisdom that comes when I listen to audiobooks as I run. The love of the blood cells that races in my veins thereby clearing the blockages. The love of a healthy body that helps me to operate at peak performance. That’s my reason now. No more fear, just love.
Avoiding Energy Drainers
There are people in life that are always in what is termed “unconscious” states. This does not mean that they are asleep. It just means that they operate according to what their egos or minds tell them. They love to show off and talk “great” things. They are overly competitive and always wanting to show that they are the best in what they do. These people are in what Jesus in the bible prayed for and said; “Forgive them because they do not know what they are doing”.
These people carry negative energy. Because of this negative energy, I have decided to avoid them. It is not that I am rude or impolite to them. It’s just that I will try to avoid them as much as possible. If I don’t, they will drain the energy from me as they seek to show me, how wrong I am and how correct they are.
I am Eternal
This realisation, if I may call it so, that I am actually a Human Spirit who is driving this meat suit has opened areas in my life that I did not know to exist. It is so liberating to know that I am not my body with its limits and blemishes. I am connected to the Powerfull source, God, who is my also in essence my very being. I have been released from the pressure to perform, the pressure to want to look good. I can be anything.
I do not need to perform to be some “great person”. I am already one. I do not need some external validation to be someone. I am already “someone”, just like you are a someone. I am approaching this new decade with the confidence of knowing that all that I need is in it.
Happy Birthday, John Samwani.